Many notes apps, including OneNote and Evernote, also include recording tools. UberConference and Zoom, among other conferencing apps, include a record feature, while Ecamm can record your Skype calls. Good listeners often forgo taking detailed notes so they can pay better attention. Typing notes, especially, can make us worse listeners. If you spend all your mental energy trying to capture what someone says word-for-word, it’s harder to be an engaged listener. "Superior listeners gather more information than just the words that people say, and use all of that information to infer meaning." They don’t take word-for-word notes Brown, author of Data Mining for Dummies. "Words are important, but words don’t always match perfectly to meaning or action," writes Meta S. How someone says something (Are their arms crossed? Brow furrowed? Pitch higher than normal?) is just as important as the words they say. They pay attention to more than what’s being said And beyond mere perceptions, those questions might help you learn more from what the speaker is saying. Good questions act as evidence that you’re listening and show that you’re interested in building on what you heard. In a study on the differences between great and average listeners, researchers found that people who ask questions that promote insight and discovery are perceived as better listeners. I used to have a teacher who loved to say, "The word listen has the same letters as the word silent." Silence is indeed a part of listening, but good listeners don’t have to be completely quiet. Great listeners share a few important qualities: They ask great questions The good news is, anyone can learn to become a better listener. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation, or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely." "If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood," Covey writes. Interpret: You analyze others' motives and behaviors based on your own experiences. Probe: You ask questions from your own frame of reference.Īdvise: You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems. Listening is also difficult because when we’re in a conversation, our tendency is to do one of four things, according to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People author Stephen Covey:Įvaluate: You judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree. That means we could listen at a rate of up to 450 words per minute, but the average person speaks only 125-175 words per minute, making it easy to become impatient or let your mind wander. Perhaps the hardest is that we think three to four times faster than people speak. Listening can be difficult for a few reasons. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) requires intense concentration and a good deal of mental energy. We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. How many times have you walked into a meeting or conference and thought, "Oh good, I can relax now because I only have to listen?" Or maybe someone thanked you for letting them talk, and you responded with something like "No problem, all I did was listen." An employee pays careful attention to a speaker at a training session and asks clarifying questions about the information they are receiving.Most people do not listen with the intent to understand they listen with the intent to reply.A nurse informs a patient that she is aware of how scared they are about their upcoming surgery and says she is there for her.At a client meeting, a salesperson asks an open-ended question like, "What can I do to serve you better?" and encourages his counterpart to express any concerns fully.At the end of a performance review, an employee restates the specific areas in which his supervisor asks he improve.A manager summarizes what her team has said during a staff meeting and asks them if she has heard things correctly.An interviewer asks a follow-up question to gain further clarification on the ways in which a candidate has applied a critical skill in a past job.A meeting facilitator encourages a reticent group member to share her views about a proposal.A counselor nods and says, "I hear you," to encourage a client to continue to talk about their traumatic experience.A customer service worker repeats a patron’s problem or complaint back to her to reassure her that she has been heard. An interviewer notices that a candidate doesn't look her in the eye when asserting a key strength.A job candidate shares her understanding of an unclear question during an interview and asks if she has it right.
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